OK, so it's a lot of those things. Have you ever had an extremely emotional week, where anything sets you off crying? You get frustrated very easily? OK, guys, no making fun of girls emotion-coaster. It sucks. For me at least.
It's been stressful at work. We're short a lot of people and that means that our work is almost doubled. Right now, it's supposed to be our slow time and it hasn't slowed down that much. Moral is horrible, no one wants to be there. It's been fun.
I've also been thinking back. It's not a bad thing. Well, OK, maybe it could be. I'm not thinking about dumb stuff I've done, or bad things I've done. No, its more nostalgia than anything. There is a part of my past that I don't want to let go of. I can't talk to anyone about it. OK, I can talk to God about it, but I'm at that point that I feel like He's tired of hearing about it. You ever been there? It was almost half my life ago, and it's something I still cry over. I know, it sounds dumb, but I keep hoping some day, it will return.
I'm trying to learn the guitar. I suck. I have no musical talent what-so-ever. I'm at the point that I want to give up. Someone else is learning at the same time. We practice. Or they do. I just sit there and feel completely inferior. They are so much better than me. They can pick up anything and be good at it. I practice, but I don't think I'll ever get it. I should just quit now, while I'm ahead.
My cousin thought she would be nice and try to set me up with someone who was a friend of her fathers. She's in Texas. I'm going to visit there the end of next month. Nice gesture, only he's apparently really looking forward to meeting me. I feel put on the spot and awkward about it all. I've never really dated. She said that since I'm lonely and I talk about wanting to be with someone she would take the liberty of helping me out. I'm actually really mad about it. She wants me to be excited.
Lastly, not that I was a fan, but the world was rocked this week with the death of Michael Jackson. He was a music icon for most of the world. I remember some of his it songs while I was growing up. There are some that I work with that were saying it's karma. I don't believe in karma. It is the twisted version of sewing and reaping.
You want to know the very first thing I thought of when I heard of his death? Well, besides shock. . . His eternity. I don't know if he knew Jesus. I don't know if maybe he had been born again while younger and then just didn't continue in the relationship with Him. The thing of it is, if he had not accepted Jesus, he's going to hell. It's sad. He was huge in this world, this life. It was all vanity.
Solomon talks about that in Ecclesiastes. He knew that money, riches, everything we have in this life is vanity. What really matters is the eternal. What is it that survives? It's our spirit.
With my heart and calling, it's hard to hear when someone who the world looked at as an icon dies. I didn't cry when I heard about Michael Jackson, but my heart ached. Just like I'm sure God's did, if he didn't know the Truth. I cried when Saddam Hussein was hanged. Yes, he did some terrible things. Did he deserve death? Don't we all.
But that's the thing. Jesus came to save us from death. We all die. Physically, it's going to happen. But what happens after that is either a forever death, or forever life. We as Christian's have failed to relay that to much of the world. I'm included.
What was my point? Mostly just to put it all down. Sometimes writing helps. I'll probably go write more, where I can be much more specific about it, where it's only me that sees it. I've had a crappy week. We've all had those. And it's all vanity. It doesn't really matter in the eternal.
So, now what are we going to do about it? . .
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.